Happy Pride! Or as we like to call it, Gay Sangria Season.
Are you hosting a Pride brunch or a pre-game this weekend? Why not get into the full spirit of Pride with this colorful, fruity, boozy, wine-based punch that will have all your friends saying, “who do you think you are, Bethenny Frankel?”
White sangria is for losers. Why not make it even gayer with this festive concoction? There’s a fruit for (almost) every color of the rainbow. Plus, enough liquor to make you start seeing unicorns, so watch out. If one of your diva friends complains that the Gay Sangria is a little too sweet or too strong for their taste, give ‘em a can of LaCroix and tell them to shut the fuck up. Here’s how it’s done.
Gay Sangria Ingredients
- One orange
- Two lemons (or peaches)
- Three limes
- A thing of raspberries (or strawberries)
- A thing of blueberries
- Magnum bottle of the cheapest Sauvignon Blanc you can find (1.5 liters)
- Bacardi Silver
- St. Germain (the *secret* ingredient)
- Califia Farms Meyer Lemonade
- LaCroix Lime Flavor (or champagne)
Gay Sangria Directions
Step 1. Slice the oranges, lemons and limes into thin slices, crosswise. Dump the chubby ends in the trash.
Step 2. Slice the peaches and strawberries until they look super cute.
Step 3. Put all the fruit in a clear glass pitcher, and take a moment to admire all the pretty colors.
Step 4. Pour the whole thing of Sauvignon Blanc. Just do it!
Step 5. Add two shots of Bacardi Silver, plus an extra shot for each of your ex-boyfriends you expect to run into this weekend.
Step 6. Add St. Germain until it tastes yum, or until you start getting tipsy.
Step 7. Top it all off with a splash of lemonade cause bitch you need your Vitamin C.
Step 8. Put the pitcher in the fridge and go get ready! People are going to get here soon! And by soon, we mean two to three hours.
Step 9. Serve it up in white wine glasses over ice. As you serve, be thankful of all the rights you now enjoy and get fired up to fight for more.
Step 10. Top each glass with LaCroix for a sparkly summertime feel, or champagne if you wanna get extra cray.