The Most Beautiful Man Who Ever Lived: Marlon Brando
“In 1947, when Marlon Brando appeared onstage in a torn sweaty T-shirt, there was an earthquake.” – Gore Vidal
Hunky Marlon Brando reprised his role in the big screen adaptation of a Streetcar Named Desire, and that time, there was a volcano. Watch the scene Vidal is referencing below, when Brando was the ultimate definition of a dreamboat. In short, Brando takes off his sweaty shirt, flaunts around shirtless and meows like a kitty in front of a lust struck Vivien Leigh.
Now that “meows like a kitty” part again.
Over a year ago, my buddy Matthew Lawrence, the man behind Mixtapes for Hookers and Headmaster, asked me to select my top choices of the hottest men ever for a countdown he did on Naked Pictures of Your Dad.
Basically I had to go through a list of 250 hot dudes from 19th century foreign dictators to Twitter famous porn stars and pick my favorites. “And while yes, it’s probably silly to be comparing the relative hot merits of Francois Sagat and Malcolm X,” Matthew wrote, “such is the way of this exercise.”
How could I not include Mr. Marlon Brando at the very top? Not only did I put the actor on my list, but I ended up pitching and writing a little blurb about the dreamboat.
Only Marlon Brando can drench misogyny in sex appeal. His character in A Streetcar Named Desire is far from the cookie-cutter heroic roles that appeal to current-day heartthrobs like Zac Efron and Taylor Lautner. That’s because when it came to acting, Marlon Brando had balls.
From playing a Nazi soldier in The Young Lions to the raw sexuality of a Last Tango in Paris, Brando was always drawn to complicated characters and riskier film fare. It seems like his entire career he was trying to avoid the typecasting that would have made him just another pretty boy in Hollywood. Even though, to me, he was the prettiest one of them all.
A Streetcar Named Desire is a multifaceted film featuring a flawless cuckoo performance by Vivien Leigh and the inimitable dialogue of Tennessee Williams, but it was Marlon Brando who became the cultural eye candy.
He is briefly first onscreen rough and rowdy in the midst of a man brawl. His real entrance is almost in slow motion, to fully admire those pouty, bad boy lips. It’s not long before Brando’s blue-collar background gets him all sweaty, then shirtless, strutting carelessly around a tiny apartment, bumping into whomever he wishes, for it’s his territory.
He roars like a kitty and then smashes some dishes. He fights with the guys, hits his wife and creates utter mayhem in the neighborhood. But when he comes out begging for Stella in a ripped, skin-tight t-shirt after being drenched under a shower, uh… yes, we forgive you, Marlon. And it’s this gentle/aggressive volatile dichotomy that makes you want to jump him every time. You’re not sure if you want to smother him with bear hugs or wrestle him into submission. No wonder Stella keeps going back.
I mean how could anyone not go back to this? From smoldering to charming with one big smile.
Hot even when he condescendingly rolls his eyes at you and has a hard time taking you seriously.
Hot even when you can tell he’s pretending to give a fuck.
Check out more photos of Brando at his prime. Do you agree with me in calling him the most beautiful man ever? Or do you have any other famed men you think fit the bill? If so, let me know in the comments!